TEXTS FROM LAST DIMENSION
So I guess like chateau is just a word for fancy mansion
LOL, but isn’t it castle?
tht so but none of the ones we’ve been to are really castles
A fking catapault would take them down
LOL or a pipe bomb.
ikr, I should look up a recipe
omg dooooo ittttttt lol
that would be so bad. I really should now, just to piss off mom
we’re going to another one tonight
imma do it
she being a bitch?
no dont
yea made me take out my headphones so I have to listen to the stupid guide
can’t understand him at all, hes talking like latin
txting you in secret
and im not gonna do it, jail would suck even worse than her
ROFL were secret buddies
yeah it would
fk yeah
whatchu up to?
messing around online
Tell me about the chateau!
were just getting to it, this whole bus is really weird
like all weirdos
where is it? what’s it called?
that’s really weird, don’t let them touch you
dunno. france somewhere. been on this bus foreverrrrr
lots of creepy trees
called umberlich or something stupid like that
wish we could go to a f1 race instead but she said its stupid and dangerous
glad u still have signal!!
ikr
r u still seeing Amal?
he just texted me hey
i wasn’t seeing him, we had shop together
w/e u 2 are lovers I know it
f u
haha jk <3 span="" u="">
woah dude shit just got fked up
whaat? u okay?
yeah we just turned the corner and all of a sudden we werent in forest it’s like this huge valley and a lake
wtf where’s the chateau?
dunno theres like an island in the middle of the lake
think theres a building on it
sounds crazy scary.
yea I dunno
wtf kind of trip did your mom take u on?
all the others were okay but I dunno last one we were at some guy kept talking to her
dont see him here tho
good that would be creepy
hey were gonna get on a boat now I prolly cant txt you 4 sec
kk be safe
dude I think my mom maybe joined a cult
im kinda freakin out
dont get on the boat
too late
i think the guide is like a priest
hes trying to get us to do some chant
jump off
swim back
my mom will kill me
this water is really cold
k they stopped chanting
so glad
did ur mom chant?
a little, she tried to make me but I said no
this island is mad creepy
i dunno this place isnt like the other chateaus
all black and red
super creepy
dude I’m worried about you
its probably draculas house or something
omg lol prolly true
dont joke ur in trouble
its ok
im fine
actually this place is kind of cool
some crazy monsters carved onto the doors
like what?
are there unicorns??
they look like that thing on Craig’s shirts
no unicorns
kinda look like fish
that guy who’s always playing that game?
woah this place reeks
smells like a fkn sewer
there are all these paintings of old dudes and ladies in robes
wtf they’re all holding fish
this is like some long john silvers cult
LOL but dude that’s creepy
this must be some kinda art museum
maybe thats why its all so weird
europeans
racist LOL
what’s your mom doing?
she’s reading all the little plaques out loud
least these are pretty much the same
some weird named dude killed this old dude
for the glory of his stupid god
this is just like the vatican
except they have nicer hats
LOL ur hilarious but I still think that place is going to kill you
u should tell your mom you want to leave
i did! she’s not listening…. she says the bus doesn’t go back for another three hours
imma go find the bathroom
huh
think I found some dude’s office instead
don’t look around you’ll probably get cursed
w/e
can’t get more cursed than I already am
dude your gonna get in trouble
you should go back to your mom
oh are you my fucking dad now?
I been looking for a new one
sorry sorry
just worried about you
imma steal something
no!
creepy book
another creepy book
some weird star drawing
bunch of fuckers fucking in a pit
huh
what?
fucken my little pony pen case
OMGGGGG okay that place isn’t cursed if it has that
lol you’re ridiculous
kk imma steal this for you
nice its even got pens on the inside
fancy ones w pointy metal heads
omg I can use them with my calligraphy book!
mom bought me one for xmas
at least someone’s mom gets good gifts
i got a self help book titled “will your way out of depression”
and a fucking talking to
when can I become emancipated?
18
sucks girl
:(
ill just run away
w/e
imma draw something on this stupid desk
its covered with drawings
what should I add?
buncha dicks haha
or a dinosaur
eating all the dudes
haha imma do that
god I hope no one comes in
what if you get caught
they’ll like sacrifice you or something
ur mom is probably pissed as hell right now
mai?
u there?
fk
fking cut myself
well
now the dinosaur has colour
:(:(:(:(:(
u okay?
yah its okay just got got it all over the desk
w/e
fk these drawings
im outta here
dont die
holy shit
what???
fking earthquake
I dunno
omg
i think I just heard something roar
get outta there dude
ur a good swimmer
just gtfo
holy shit
its real
holy fucking shit
help me
dude I don’t know where you are
your fb location just says something about spacetime
did you do that?
lyons
send help
Ok but I don’t speak french
what do you mean it’s real?
Mai?
omg mom
it fucking ate mom
im so sorry
where are u?
mai??
it changed
it fucking changed
its not my little pony
how did I not see it b4?
wtf r u talking about?
ur scaring me
mai?
u there?
the pens are real
the drawings are real
the star
the pit
everythings real except me
mai? it’s been like three days! Where are u? r u okay?
u sound horrible
ive been so scared for you
mai??
mai???
2 comments:
Loved it! Bit of a struggle to read but I was laughing out loud the whole way through.
THIS. WAS. AWESOME.
Maybe it's because I'm a chronic goddamn texter, but I didn't have any trouble reading. Love how you decided to convey this (also, damn you for having such a brilliant all-dialogue story; I nearly died from all the narration in mine)!
Excellent work, good sir! :D Thanks for sharing and thanks a million for the awesome hat-shuffling adventure!
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